I imagined myself falling into an abyss without anything to hold on to; I saw myself engulfed by nothingness, in a world without feelings, thoughts, colors, lost forever in a void.
Just then I had a fantastic dream - about an unbelievable reality. I had the feeling that somewhere in a distant world, the dream was being lived out. How could I be sure that dreams weren't actually messages from some other real existence, while my senseless life was in fact, just the imaginary reflection of that unknown world.
I wanted the dream to go on forever, to make me forget everything else, to wipe it all from the face of earth. I knew this whole story was only a dream - this tale that was bringing me back to life was something my tormented mind had created from nothing. Unconsciously, I believed the dream was true, I felt it was true, I wanted it to be true.
I believe in the impossible, I believe in my dream, in my vision of the future.
I could make, barely visible, a glimmer of light at the end of this black tunnel of pain and sorrow, this hopeless daily gloom...
It was what allows us to believe, what can transform almost any man.
It was HOPE
my mind could conceive it;
and my heart could believe it;
and then, I could achieve it..
My dreams gave life back to me.
Now I, must give dreams back to life.

NOSTALGIA

I wrote this poem a long time back...
it does not rhyme, it's too long, and has not been broken into proper stanzas,
and most of you will probably stop reading mid-way
But there's something about it anyway, that makes it really precious to me





The winds of change must continuously blow,
mutating everything, repudiating nothing.
But sure as the seasons change one to the other,
each one leaves behind a tiny whiff
a nostalgia - a longing for the one gone before
an emptiness - as the heart longs for times of old

As I walk through those conversant millieu,
it seems as if I have been taken back in time,
to the time when I was the present here
But now the winds have no ramifications at all
because a period of time itself has frozen
and how can something that is locked in its position,
unable to transform, ever be changed!
Everything else follows the mundane reality of the universe,
except for that brief period of time which continues
to perpetuate as has been stored in my being..
A place where love grew within,
A place where every emotion was valued
Right now, I hold the rod of present,
my present of this place,
pondering over the irony of the situation
the very place I had longed to escape
was the one I now wanted to hold on to forever
and take out the 'r' cuz then there
would be no end to the forever
I never want this moment to unlock

I don't have to try to remember,
don't have to struggle to keep
those faded memories alive
cuz it's all here-with me
and nothing could ever be better
I can see it all so clearly
the laughter, the sorrows,
the joys, the pain,
the sunshine, the rain
-all the vibrant hues of life
I want to hold on
to the warmth of those hugs,
the passion of those arguments,
the care in those tears....

But I know that 'forever' and 'never' are only words
I know that I'll have to go back,
cuz even frozen time is ephemeral
But I will carry through,
the hope, the love,
there's just too much that time can not erase
And as I sit here, in the unmitigated truth,
my soul is painted with NOSTALGIA

I take another deep breath
and feel the wind pass through my body
I realize that my heart is filled
not with sorrow, but with gratification
cuz there are going to be
so many more moments like this,
ones that I will want to live in for eternity
But in this one life, we don't have immortality
And that's the beauty of it, if not 'forever',
we do get to experience all of this at least once
And as we wade through that unpredictable path,
each moment leaves behind a trace by altering us
And by doing that, we carry the moment as a part of us
So that years later,
we can get lost in the nostalgia of that moment
And come back to appreciate
this delicate pattern of life

And yet, every breath I take,
every move I make,
every step I take
reminds me that this is real,
NOW - is life