'Follow your heart. Do what it tells you to'
Been given that advice ? I have.
And each time, I find myself more confused than before, primarily because of 2 things :
1. Technically, my heart beats, it doesn't tell me anything!
2. Even going by the conventional meaning of 'heart', I find that mine doesn't tell me what to do, it tells me what not to do !!, in terms of what it likes and what it doesn't.
Like all things in adolescence, my 'heart' is very very confusing. It's like a child, sometimes, it wants everything, and at others, nothing at all.....Sometimes, it wants to grab everything it can get its hold on, and at others, it wants to cringe away from everything. It is afraid of change; it wants security and 'love' (whatever that is. I leave it to individual interpretations); it likes new things, but it doesn't want to let go of the old....
So, honestly, in such a state of 'heart' or 'mind', what is a mere 15 year old supposed to do ?
'The heart forever is making the head its fool.'
True, that. And what's more, the hear almost never chooses to agree with the brain.
It will want that which it is told it is not to have.
A child will always want the thing that is taken away from it.
We are told certain basic things while growing up.
Don't tell lies.
Accept your mistakes.
And yet, somehow, we always end up breaking these rules.
The brain is sensible and logical. It will weigh the pros and cons of a decision and then chose. But the heart does not distinguish between right or wrong (actually, what is RIGHT or WRONG ? It's only a matter of perspective, right ?) It follows the principles of another language, which is within us, but also unknown to us.
Being the typical, self conscious teenage girl that I am, I've felt a lot of uncertainties about my weight.
And every time I tried to restrict myself from eating all the junk and fat that was making me fat, and began exercising to lose weight, it went on perfectly for some time....
I would see that big bar of chocolate, and I would yearn to have a bite of it. But I let my brain overpower my heart, and I was patted on the back for having such a strong 'will-power' . I would jog, all the time thinking that I had to fit into that really cute dress, and after a while, I would find absolutely any excuse to avoid it.
It would begin like this, and after I saw visible results, it was back to square one
.
Then I realized something, that so many of us are doing all the time. We are all, trying to overpower our heart, and hiding it behind the name of 'will', without asking ourselves what it really means. It is only a power, driven by our greater energies. And the will of the heart is too strong to be opposed. I'm not saying that we can't, I'm just saying that it would be a waste of time, because it would only overbear and burden us.
We always ask ourselves - the heart or the brain ? always taking it for granted that they would want different things. But what if they wanted the same thing ? The will of the heart, combined with the logic of the brain! Wouldn't that solve all our problems?
We are told that that victory which is achieved by suppressing others, is not true victory. But, aren't we doing that all the time, when we chose either the heart or the brain over the other ?
